There has been a great focus on reconciliation in recent years. But how does this sit with those who have suffered from terrible violence, or abuse, or family conflicts? What happens when you find you can't forgive? What happens when you are filled with anger and want only revenge?

Sometimes people say they will never forgive because they think this minimises, excuses or justifies wrongdoing.
In this book Brian Lennon asks what real forgiving is and suggests that we may often put unfair and impossible demands on the shoulders of those who have suffered most. He offers a way to move towards forgiving. He challenges the myths and misunderstandings around forgiving and tries to be both compassionate and challenging to those who wish to make this journey. He also questions the focus on victimhood: if we become victims by identity we pay a price. Does society help people to move in this direction, or towards freedom?

The last part of the book includes some scriptural passages and reflections on this theme and asks: are the Christian scriptures a burden or a help?

This book will be of interest to anyone who has lost a loved one through murder, or has been abused, or who is involved in family conflict and is finding it difficult to forgive. It will also be of interest to spiritual guides, counsellors and carers who accompany people who have been hurt.